My YOGIST sticky note for better conflict management at work
Practice facing the challenges of everyday life as if they were cold showers
Every trip I take to India seems to bring extraordinary people into my life. That year, in Rishikesh, in the Himalayas, I met Michael, a 40-year-old Icelander who looked 22, who had come to train in yoga and breathing techniques. This former elite skier made his way barefoot, scantily clad, regardless of the circumstances, the location… or the weather, and lived entirely in tune with his physiological needs and bodily sensations.
“Like a plant,” he said, “he absorbed energy from the sun’s rays at sunrise and sunset, ate and drank very little—practically fasting all the time—and bathed every morning in the icy Ganges.” Once I got over my initial reaction (“This guy is completely crazy!”), our conversation turned to his habit of taking ice-cold showers every day.
This ritual seemed completely absurd to me, especially since we had access to hot water at our hotel, and the cold has always made me shiver. “It’s all about breathing,” was his explanation. If your breathing is deep, slow, and calm, your body won’t tense up or freeze, and the ordeal of the ice-cold bath is no longer an unbearable experience. This conversation would likely have remained purely theoretical if the generator in my room hadn’t broken down.
I had a choice: skip the shower because there was no hot water, or try the cold shower challenge by controlling my breathing using yoga techniques, which I had mastered quite well. Michael was right! By breathing calmly and deeply, the cold becomes bearable, and the more you practice, the more routine—and even pleasant—this challenge becomes! The same goes for everything else: enduring difficult situations—whether it’s a strenuous stretch, a busy workday, family tension, or a professional setback—like a cold shower with the help of breathing is the secret to facing life with the same equanimity, that is, with a steady temperament.
This is often described using the somewhat overused term “Zen.” Everything starts with the body, especially our psychological reactions: breathing deeply, slowly, and calmly (as you’ll learn in the bottle exercise) sends a message to your nervous system that everything is okay. Practice every day. Since this type of breathing isn’t natural, it takes practice and improves over time. The more you practice breathing calmly, the better you’ll be able to control your body, your reactions, and your thoughts.
Every day counts. Identify the challenging situations that might hold you back (speaking up, conflicts, etc.) and make a conscious effort to face them without tensing up—take a deep breath, as if you were standing under a cold shower.
My Post-it note
End each shower with a 1-minute blast of ice-cold water. Stand under pleasantly warm water and direct the stream toward the upper part of your body. Then begin to breathe very deeply through your nose, letting your belly expand as you turn the temperature knob toward the cold setting. Continue breathing just as deeply and calmly, focusing solely on your breath: you won’t feel the cold, and your breathing will remain calm and steady. Then direct the stream toward your stomach and legs while maintaining this same breathing pattern. After three weeks, you’ll no longer dread this ritual!
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